Women are NOT from Venus

I’d like to dispel a common misconception about Venus. Women do not come from Venus. Nobody comes from Venus.

Aside from Earth, no place in the Solar System is exactly friendly to human life, but Venus takes its unfriendliness to a whole other level. In fact, Venus is almost diabolically evil.

Mr01 Slaughter

If you ever decide to go to Venus, here are a few of the many ways Venus will try to kill you.

  • In the upper atmosphere, you will encounter sulfuric acid clouds and sulfuric acid rain.
  • Descending through the atmosphere, atmospheric pressure will increase to 90 times greater than Earth-normal, so you’ll be crushed like a soda can.
  • Due to interactions with the solar wind, spontaneous explosions sometimes occur in Venus’s atmosphere. Let’s file this under “fire hazard.”
  • The surface temperature is almost 900 degrees Fahrenheit, which is well above the auto-ignition temperature of the human body. So again, fire hazard.
  • By the time you reach the planet’s surface, assuming you still have lungs, you’d choke on the extremely high concentration of carbon dioxide in the air.
  • Not that it matters at this point, but there’s no water.
  • Whatever’s left of your corpse may be struck by lightning during one of Venus’s intense thunderstorms.

As we continue our exploration of the Solar System with a month-long visit to Venus, I’d like to take this opportunity to dub the second planet from the Sun “Venus, the Overkill Planet.”

Links

Clouds on Venus from Universe Today.

Planet Venus Facts: A Hot, Hellish & Volcanic Planet from Space.com

The Weather on Venus Calls for Massive Mid-air Explosions from io9.

2 Responses to Women are NOT from Venus

  1. I’d love to see an article about what it would theoretically take to terraform Venus!

    Liked by 1 person

    • James Pailly says:

      I’ll see what I can do. Venus presents some pretty big obstacles for terraforming. Based on my research thus far, I’d say creating oceans and breathable air would be, relatively speaking, the easy part.

      Like

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