#IWSG: Something Must Change

~ J.S. Pailly

Hello, friends!  Welcome to this month’s meeting of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group.  Are you a writer?  Do you feel insecure about your writing?  If so, then this is the support group for you!  Click here to learn more!

I’m not doing great right now, to be honest.  I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I’m unhappy.  I wish I could say I’m just having a bad week, but I know the problem runs deeper than that.  This has been going on for months now… for years, even.  And so now I have finally come to the conclusion that something needs to change.

But what?  What is the thing that needs to change?  Is it writing?  I’ve been reluctant to talk about these something-must-change feelings with anyone I know in real life because most of the people I know in real life are quick to tell me that writing is the problem.

“You should take a break from writing,” they’ll say.  But that’s like telling me to take a break from breathing.  “Maybe you should try a different hobby,” they’ll say, as if writing is just a hobby to me.  One family member keeps asking me “Have you considered writing smut?” which… actually, that might be one of the few people I know I.R.L. who gets me.

Something must change.  Something is going to change.  I’m going to make it happen.  But first, I’m making two quick promises to myself:

  • I will not rush into anything, and…
  • I will not sacrifice my writing (or my art).

This post is not me looking for advice.  I’m not writing this for my own benefit but rather for the benefit of anyone else who’s having these something-must-change feelings.  Don’t get me wrong: these are good feelings to have.  These feelings can be the beginning of a new and better life.

But saying that something needs to change does not mean that everything needs to change.  Before you do anything rash, before you go upending your whole life, decide for yourself what’s really important to you.  Decide for yourself what you can and cannot afford to change (and do not allow other people to decide that for you).

For me, the things I cannot afford to change are my writing and my art.  And for you, those things are…

29 thoughts on “#IWSG: Something Must Change”

  1. Very tough decisions. It reminds me when I needed to leave my teaching job because of the toxic environment. I couldn’t make myself leave, but God stepped in and made it happen. I’ve never been happier, albeit a bit broker! Things will work out.

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    1. Already have, my friend. Something will happen with the #1 and #2 things on that list. My theory right now is that if figure out what to do about those two things, the rest of the list will sort itself out.

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  6. I feel for you. I’ve been on the cusp of a major change myself for the last 18 months, and for various reasons continue to hold off pulling the trigger.

    One mental trick that sometimes works for me, is to consider what my advice would be to another person in the same situation. It might allow you to step outside of the first person perspective. If that advice is different from what you’re thinking from the inside, then scrutinize the possible reasons.

    Best of luck.

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    1. That’s a good mental trick. I’ve noticed several times in the last few months, when I was giving advice to other people, that I was being a bit of a hypocrite. Still not sure what I’m going to do next, but I know things can’t stay the way they are. That’s a start, at least.

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    1. Thanks! Yeah, I can’t give it up either. It’s good that you and I know this about ourselves. When you know that one un-changeable fact about yourself, it makes it easier to figure out everything else.

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  8. Those things are my writing and my art. So many people outside of my writing circles such as IWSG have discourage me from wroting and creating because it’s “not practical enough”. Even though most haven’t told me that straight out, they have told me. And so I know exactly what you mean. I just use a slightly different analogy: when someone tells me to get rid of writing/art in my life they’re basically telling me to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger whether they know it or not. Like, screw that! We write and create art because it’s what we were made to do, if you will. We can’t cut something out of are lives because the “moral” majority tells us to because to do so is to destroy our dignity. Don’t listen to them, keep writing and creating; I’m going to.

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    1. Sounds like you and I are in the same boat. These “practical” people we know do mean well, for the most part. I try to keep that in mind. It’s just that they don’t understand what art and writing mean to us. They legitimately don’t get it. And people who don’t understand a situation really shouldn’t be pushing their advice on how to fix it.

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  9. Those decisions are hard. Juggling the demands of work, family, money, and creativity is a complicated process, but I’m sure you’ll find your balance, the one that works best for you and nobody else.

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  11. Good to hear that you’re looking at positive changes to make in your life and (most important of all) that you’re not listening to those negative voices about your writing and your art. I am sorry that you’re struggling and have struggled so long, but so pleased that you’re now actively seeking the solution. Good luck with it, I hope the struggle is soon behind you.

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  12. I’m not giving up writing. I know that for sure. Whether I’ll be successful or not, I don’t know, but I’ll always be writing. Why do your friends think writing is the problem. Maybe it’s the solution.

    Happy 2022!

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  13. I feel like I’m in a similar place and have been taking a step back to assess where I can/need to change. I’ve identified where my focus is going to shift, and writing is a large part of that new direction. Now I just need to follow through and keep going. Blogging and networking is also a big part of this ‘new me’, so I’m glad to have come across you via the IWSG. Thank you!

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    1. I’m glad to hear it! I hope the follow-through goes well. Staying committed to a goal is the real challenge. I know it’s going to be a real challenge for me, at least.

      P.S.: Sorry for not responding sooner. The notification somehow slipped through the cracks.

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